Forever a Froning

I sometimes find myself sitting in Lakelyn's room...still in shock of how truly blessed Rich and I are. Before she was ours, I remember scrolling through board after board of nurseries on Pinterest, imagining all of the different types of bedding we would have–ruffle for a girl and maybe some fun patterns for a boy.

Before it became Lakelyn's room, it was a simple guest room. But if you looked through my eyes, you would see the box in the corner filled to the brim with random baby things I had collected over the years. I made a point to purchase a kids' book every time we traveled the world with Reebok. I would also keep my nieces' hand-me-downs in hopes of one day having a baby girl to wear them. And after three years of adding to the box, it was full. Full of boys and girls clothes, bows, books, and  the cutest little hats. It might sound like such a sweet and simple thing to do...but behind that, my heart ached with hope for the day that these things might actually be put to use. I'll never forget all the times my tears would stream down my face every time I added to that box. Or all of the times I would pray for the day I would become a mom...and that it would be sooner rather than later.

After yet another failed IUI, I came home and beelined to the guest bedroom, pulled out the box and got rid of everything I'd been collecting except for the books. It was just too hard to look at. Just knowing the box was waiting for me acting as the failed hope of becoming a mother was too hard to bear. I couldn't handle it anymore, the pain was just too great. And looking back, I completely regret getting rid of all of those precious things.
   
Fast forward to one month before Lakelyn graced our lives. I still can't believe we had just one month to prepare for her! ONE MONTH! When we found out we would be adopting a girl, I so badly wanted to start shopping. But I couldn't. I knew from the bottom of my heart that I wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened...taking back with sorrow what I bought with joy. So Lakelyn's room remained a guest room and instead of buying hair bows and decorations, we bought the necessities–diapers, wipes, and a few sleepers. The bare minimum. Our families thought we were crazy bringing home a baby with absolutely nothing. Our friends were more than helpful in all of this. One of my close friends was a mom of two at the time, one being a little girl. She had thankfully kept all of the clothes her little girl grew out of and let me come over and take anything I wanted. Truth be told, I don't know what I would have done without her or some of my other close friends. I left her house that night with bags of clothes, sleepers, bibs, burb clothes, a swing, and a bassinet. And if that's not amazing enough, a week before Lakelyn was born, my sister, mom, and cousin threw me a surprise shower...giving Lakelyn her first gifts–clothes. I cried with every gift I opened. I distinctly remember opening a tiny bathing suit complete with a sunhat and a coming home outfit for the hospital. And me and Rich's neighbor (more like our second mom) brought over a diaper bag. It was a pink Petunia Pickle Bottom. I couldn't believe she bought me such a nice gift. It wasn't just that it was a great diaper bag...it was that it meant I was one step closer to actually being a mom.

Knowing what I know now...it's very difficult to just "wing it" with a newborn. Turns out, you do need things! My sister and close friends and family threw me the most beautiful baby shower I'd ever been to...we called it a "sip and see" shower since Miss Lakelyn would be there for almost everyone to finally meet. I am still so thankful and surprised at just how many people came and all of the love they had for Lakelyn. God definitely filled my heart to the brim that day...I felt so blessed that day. It will not soon be forgotten.

The guest room became Lakelyn's room when she was three months old. And now that she's three and a half, I still sit in her room with tears in my eyes thinking of how blessed Rich and I are to be her parents. I think about how long I dreamt of her. I think about how I always felt in my heart that I would be a little girl's mama (maybe it was a strong hope); but I never thought my baby girl would have blond hair and blue eyes! She is more beautiful than I ever imagined. Her room is a testament to the beautiful God-story that came to fruition in Lakelyn. Her room has a story, filled with books with personal notes in them from that "sip and see". They are so special–I love reading them to her every time we do our bedtime stories.

My prayer now is that she always knows how loved she is, how big of a blessing she is, and how much joy she has brought to our hearts. Lakelyn is our greatest gift!